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Life’s Not Fair!

Given the set of circumstances I am in, I often find myself saying to myself, or to God for that matter, ‘It’s not fair!’. There are many reasons that go on inside my head why this isn’t fair. An example might be that there are criminals who live a life of crime who survive into their old age, and yet here am I, potentially dying at the age of 28 (soon to be 29). I thought I had a lot to offer the world. I thought that I was going to to be able to become a doctor, and use my skills as such in some of the poorest places in the world. I wanted to bring justice where there was none, I wanted to bring hope where there was oppression, I wanted to show the world that the way it is doesn’t mean it has to be that way, that WE can make a difference and bring about change. I wanted to do all these things with my life, to make sure that my legacy was one that improved the quality of life of others.


But now I am dying and these things will never be fulfilled….


And criminals rape, they murder, and they rob. War criminals commit genocide and human rights atrocities around the world, and they all get to live into their old age, often with no justice for their victims.


How is that fair?


…. But then I remind myself why it is completely fair.


Two MILLION people were killed by the Pol Pot regime in Cambodia; Children are still being born in SE Asia with deformities because of Agent Orange dropped by the US; 4000 children under the age of 5 die everyday from pneumonia; People in this country and around the world are killed daily by drunk drivers; a two year old toddler falls into a drain in west auckland and drowns; a 22 year old university graduate from otago is stabbed hundreds of times by her boyfriend; thousands of people EVERY DAY die from cancer around the world.


Pol Pot

Victims from the Pol Pot regime in Cambodia


How am I any different from these people??… What makes me any more special that any of these people that die from injustice everyday?


I’m Not!!


We live in a broken world where crap is part of our daily routine. Very often in the West, we are immune from a lot of that crap, and we forget that it happens. And when it happens to us?… We cry foul….

When I remember my place in this world, which is amongst the broken, then I realise that it might FEEL unfair, but thats just me being selfish. Shit happens in this life and we just get all moody when it happens to ourselves instead of others.

Perhaps instead of dwelling on our own unfortunate set of circumstances, we would do better to be dwelling on those of our neighbours, our friends, our families. Perhaps we should be seeking to be the answer to THEIR prayers and THEIR needs, rather than wallowing in our own sense of self pity.


I’m pretty sure that is what Jesus would do….


In the process of all this, I found peace with the fact that I’m dying…… Interesting…

It’s amazing what a bit of perspective will do.


Thanks for listening.

  1. Samar
    November 5, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Great insight Jared. I guess the question is not whether we will die, but how we should live.
    Thanks for such an inspiring blog 🙂

  2. Mike
    November 5, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    Awesome message brother. A lesson for all of us.

  3. Benny
    November 5, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    Perspective is amazing!
    have you come across the last lecture by Randy Pausch?

  4. Lisa Fackler
    November 5, 2009 at 6:29 pm

    Life isn’t fair – I agree.
    Thanks for writing your personal thoughts down for everyone to read.
    Keep writing!

  5. kasey
    November 5, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    amen jared! thanks for this blog I needed a reality check. and for what its worth I believe you have made a difference just by being you.

  6. madeleine
    November 6, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Thought I’d let you know I’ve started reading your blogs…my goodness what a huge journey you are going through, your writing is truly inspiring – madeleine

  7. Kim
    November 6, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    thats really a great insight Jared! and may i add something, Just remember how Jesus gave His life for us..It was also isnt fair for Him who has no sin to die on our behalf yet it still make sense for Him coz He has done it for the sake of us all and to show us how much He loves us unconditionally!

    He has made a big difference to everyone of us and you too makes a big difference in the lives of the people surrounds you and to those who are reading your blog!

    You are inspiring me to live!

  8. Jolene - jasmemphis
    November 10, 2009 at 4:12 am

    yeah, yeah – all that rah, rah, rah about looking at death as though it’s a gift. I live with the idea of my husband’s cancer returning at any moment and then all the restlessness, worry, nausea, rushing to ER, days in ICU, feeding tubes, PIC lines – insurance companies wanting patients to go home and family members take over the 24/7 care – no, it’s not fair. I have to simply hang on to the hem of the garment of the Lord and let Him pull me along in whatever direction He plans. My focus is not the starving children, the war victims, the mistreated, the homeless – my focus is my husband and how to help him live as best he can and prepare himself for death as best he can. I have never been angry with Him – I get too tired to be angry and I follow the words of the oncologists and cardiologists and gastroenterologists and surgeons and when it was discovered the cancer is “gone”, there was a tag: it could come back, the tumor is VERY FAST GROWING and to monitor weight daily, blood pressure daily, fatigue, appetite, etc. I almost need this blog now to see how you are doing, how you are handling emotionally your cancer returning. How much strength does it take to do the chemo routine again, to be sick again, and this time to be told the illness was more nearly fatal. My sincere apologies if this rant adds nothing to your day. I hope it at least lets you know others are thinking of you and walking with you, even at a great distance. – Jolene

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