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Chemo 40.0

If only the significance of an achievement was measured in more than in numbers. Forty rounds of chemotherapy have come and they have gone, and such a number would seem as though it should be laden with significance, such as those of the years of life gone by. But instead, round forty is yet another notch in the wall, one of many, each notch as insignificant as the other.

Two years of chemotherapy have passed, three years of cancer. It was even three years yesterday that I had the encounter with the scalpel that arguably saved my life, yet at the same time revealed its fragility. Three years since my hemicolectomy.

Three years of life where I emulsify the bitterness of chemotherapy with the joy of living. An unlikely duo of flavour who’s individual components enrich the other. It is through my joy that the suffering, the chemo, becomes all the more burdensome, yet it is through the suffering that even the mundane becomes joyful. For how can we know what black is unless we compare it to white, or white without comparing it to black, lest we mistake either for a shade of grey.

This round passed as previous have, and thankfully more tolerable than number thirty nine. Another notch in the wall, set apart only in that it precedes the forty first. In all other aspects it remains to be an undesirable experience.

Till next time….

Categories: Cancer Update Tags: ,
  1. Catherine
    November 16, 2011 at 10:32 am

    Similar to living with chronic illness, Jared , may you continue to find joys in the journey, and the Lord bless you keep your spirit strong.

  2. Deb
    November 30, 2011 at 8:43 pm

    Today, though I know neither of you, you and your Hannah have been in my thoughts and prayers. It amazes me to think that there may be times in my journey when complete strangers lift me up in prayer!! Keep writing, it is witty, entertaining and thought provoking: )
    Your photography is pretty cool too.


  3. Theresa Vossen
    June 28, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    You are incredibly articulate and your words as tough and unfair they are to be your current reality, are deeply inspiring. Reminding us to all live better and more fully. Praying for you daily and sharing the collective sadness at your recent news. Friends of Andrea and Rory Grant, you don’t know me but I have a husband who is an Otago Med School graduate and I am so sorry your work as a doctor has been also filled with work being a patient. My husbands colleague has a new blog as he also faces being a Doctor and has a recnet rare cancer diagnosis – “It’s Not About the Motorbike” – you may or may not like to read it ( email me if you can’t find it) . He is an Emergency Specialist and very reflective man too.. Anyway, I digress–love your writing; God Bless Jared.

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