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Oncology 15.1

It has been 15 days since finding out that my cancer has returned.

Hannah and I were caught off guard with the news. It was like being sucker punched, although to be truthful, no allegory can really do justice to the description of how we actually felt. The pain hurt though, it hurt alot. We processed it for a couple of days, shedding tears and coming to terms with the news. Somehow, hearing you have cancer for the third time was worse than the other two, or so it seemed. Maybe we just numbed the memories of the previous revelations in order to cope. The mind can do funny things like that.

Waking in the morning for the first couple of nights was like re-living the news. I didn’t have cancer in my dreams.

Slowly, we have both moved to acceptance. To the place we were in prior to surgery even being an option. Although knowing that this time, with the cancer in the liver, that place is a little more real.

Over the past week I have sat and discussed with one of the surgeons who operated on me, and who would potentially operate in the future. The consensus is that operating now would be a bad idea. Generally speaking, extra-hepatic metastases contraindicate liver surgery. However, if my cancer can remain stable, which means little to no growth and no new metastasis over the next 6-9 months, surgery could be reconsidered. In the mean time, I’m going to re-start chemotherapy and hope that the cancer remains responsive to it.

I am yet to meet with my oncologist, so the details of my chemo regime has yet to be determined. I’m going to guess that I would restart on the same regime as I was on previously, as other options remain largely in the unfunded and horrendously expensive category. All of this will be explored in the not to distant future.

In the mean time, I have started back at work as originally planned. It has been good to get back into something I really enjoy, although it seems a little bittersweet. I will probably go back to part time once I know what my chemotherapy will be like and how it will impact my ability to work.

Till next time…

Categories: Blog, Cancer Update Tags: , ,
  1. May 31, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    thank you for sharing your thoughts:
    we all can learn following your writings …

  2. Murray Fenton
    May 31, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    Hi Jared – It is great that you remain positive through all that you do, it is also fantastic that you are able to keep on working and continue doing something that you are so passionate about, people always say that if you find something that you love doing you will never ever get tired of getting up and having to force yourself to go to work, it saddens me to hear your news and the developments with your illness however you are a role model to many in that you always are focused and share your journey which is so good for those of us that do not understand the pain and anguish that people go through. Like many things we pay lip service howver we never really understand. I have a friend that died yesterday through the same illness, 100 % active and then returns from a tramp with a pain in his back to later discover he had extensive cancer. The main thing that the specialists said kept him going a lot longer than they thought was his will to live and his health prior to having the scare and subsequent treatment. My thoughts and prayers are with you and hannah. Keep doing what you are doing my friend, you are amazing…. Sincerely Murray

  3. Sarah Lane
    May 31, 2012 at 11:16 pm

    Thinking of and praying for you, Hannah and the extended family…

  4. Ruth Jackson
    June 1, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Hi Jared. I am still gob-smacked by the recent news. I’m glad that you are heading back to work, because you sounded so keen to get back and you’re amazing at your job. You have been teaching me a lot recently about ‘getting over myself’. When I see the cool photos you post on FB, it really reminds me to open my eyes and appreciate the little things. I cried when you posted the photo of the smoking dragon on your coffee froth 2 or so days after getting the PET scan results. The fact that you enjoyed that enough to take a photo and share it with us all amidst the most unbelievably tough time just really blew me away. You are awesome!

  5. PB
    June 1, 2012 at 9:56 pm

    Jared, I am in awe of your attitude in the face of this mountainous challenge. I am a journalist in Oz and would like to send an email query. Hope to learn your email. Best wishes, PB

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