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Oncology 15.2

Well, it is official. I am restarting chemotherapy on Friday 22nd of June. I will be going back onto the regime I was on previously (FOLFIRI), so round counting resumes at 42.

The 42nd weekend of my life lost.

The 42nd close encounter with nausea and vomiting.

The 42nd reminder that I’m mortal.

I have spoken to my employers, and they are happy for me to go back to down to the 2/3rds employment status I was on previously, and hopefully I should be able to stay in my current position of surgical rotator. I have to say, I have really enjoyed having six months of no chemotherapy. It has literally only been in the last few weeks that I can say I was starting to feel physically like chemo was in my past. There are lingering effects that seem to take a while to flush from the system.

There was some discussion around the fact that if this regime fails, the only remaining options were non-funded ones such as Avastin. I’m not particularly interested in paying $10,000 per fortnightly round for a treatment that has only been shown to increase life expectancy by an average of 3 months. We aren’t there yet, but it will be a call I will have to make eventually. I think I would rather see the money spent on vaccines in the developing world, somewhere where the benefit per dollar spent is far more impact-full and tangible. When you develop a global perspective on life, it is very hard to even justify the expense that has been spent on me to date, especially when all we are doing is delaying an inevitable outcome.

In the mean time, I will continue working as I can, for as long as I can. The hope is that the new cancer responds to chemotherapy, and remains stable. The fact that it did this in the past is unfortunately no guarantee it will continue to do so in the future, but we continue to hope and pray. Re-engaging with an uncertain future again certainly tests resolve. I guess ultimately all human and natural sources of resolve are finite, and eventually exhaustion takes over…

I count my blessings that I don’t resource this journey by my own means, but by something greater, something that will endure past death.

Until next time..

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  1. Lisa Fackler
    June 8, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    That really is crappy. But at least there is still the option right now to do Chemo. I will continue to pray for you and Hannah, I do believe God has a bigger plan for you after cancer. You have really impacted my life with your blog and am so thankful for you sharing your life as an open book.

  2. Cindy
    June 8, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    Jared I am amazed that even when you face this difficult road you are still thinking of the people that could benefit from money spent on them instead of you. You are truely someone special. Luv Cindy

  3. Lois
    June 9, 2012 at 4:53 am

    Dear Jared, You are a beacon for putting aside your own situation and thinking of others with regard to where to focus spending limted money/resources on medical care. We all are, or will be, faced with what our legacy will be. Advocating for refocusing money toward prevention in others can be yours. Your voice has credibility and will provide leadership for that effort. You are blessed to be in that position.

  4. June 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    Jared we continually bring you before the Lord in our “Devotions” here at BiblesinAction. Blessings!!!

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