I have to apologise for the lack of updating over the past few weeks. This is largely due to the feeling of not having anything new to add, and also just being really busy with work. Both of which in their own ways are actually good things. Work is definitely a therapeutic distraction from chemotherapy. It is in the process of returning to work and enjoying it, that I am denying cancer the opportunity to ruin my life (that was if I was to anthropomorphize an inanimate disease).
The last two rounds have been progressively tougher to tolerate. I’m not sure if this is because my memory of rounds over 6 months previous have been selectively erased, or because they actually are, or because in the interim I began to get used to feeling well again. This most recent round (44) was definitely rough in terms of nausea. There was a lot of dry retching over toilet bowls, breaking out in sweats, and generally feeling miserable. Ironically, the bounce back to wellness post-chemo has been better though compared with the previous two rounds. Rhyme or reason with chemotherapy is often lost, and each round is as predictable, and as unpredictable as the previous. I think as the routine slowly settles back in, it is easier to accommodate the intrusion into my life.
Perhaps one change between my last update and now is that I have decided to move forwards in areas of my life such as work. This may or not may be a fruitless endeavor, but I am keen to advance my career, and am beginning to make moves with regards to getting involved in research, and considering the step up to registrar level sometime in the future. Most, if not all of this hinges around what my next scan will show. Either it will be non-response and widespread metastatic disease, signalling the beginning of the end, or it will be responsive, signalling a longer, rather than a shorter life expectancy (or somewhere in between which will just make the shades of grey harder to interpret). Hopefully it will be the latter, and plans will continue afoot. The next CT scan will be in early September sometime.
In other slightly related news, I’ll be giving a lecture to the third year medical students on Monday again (I did the same last year) speaking on patients perspective of disease.
Until next time…