Chemo 58, 59, and 60
I broke sixty rounds of chemotherapy.
The number seems somewhat surreal, as to imagine 60 continuous rounds of chemo is like trying to imagine a nightmare. Back to back, this is 300 days of continuous nausea, dry retching, and fatigue.
I’m glad these rounds were punctuated with some sense of normality, with some sense that I still have control of my life. I often see long stay surgical patients on the ward and wonder how they keep their spirits up, for whilst I get to have a reprieve between each round of chemo, they often do not. They often have months as an inpatient, two steps forward and one step back, its a different kind of patience needed to endure than the one I have had to develop.
People often remark to me how well I have done to achieve 60 rounds of chemo, but I’m reluctant to accept the accolades. I firmly believe that when people are given challenges, no matter how big they might seem, its an opportunity to rise to meet them. There are definitely those that still roll over and let life’s burdens weigh them down, I see them in the hospital regularly, but there are also those that defy belief, that in the face of adversity, in the face of misery, still meet life head on regardless of what is thrown at them
I couldn’t imagine in my wildest dreams of ever tolerating 60 rounds of chemotherapy, but somehow I have. It hasn’t been easy…
But right there is a lesson for life, if you give up, you will achieve exactly what you expect… nothing.
However if you keep pushing forward, even when it hurts, even if it seems pointless, you create purpose in the situation you thought was purposeless.
Sometimes purpose isn’t there to be found, its there to be made.
Sometimes purpose was staring us in the face all along and we forgot to look for it.
How have I got through 60 rounds of chemo? Because I can’t help but notice the purpose God has created in my life despite my circumstance.
Until next time….